Calling In Sick...

...oh wait, now I remember!! You can't call in sick when you have little ones at home. I forgot about this part...who takes care of Mommy when she's sick? That would be me y'all. Sick!! I don't get sick very often, but when I do...whoo boy!! I picked up some kind of flu/cold virus thingy last week. A few nights last week I went to bed early but then would over-do it the next day until Sunday morning it all caught up with me. We came home after Sacrament meeting and I went to bed, or at least I tried to. It's hard to do when you have a baby still attached to you. So for the past few days I've been trying to get as much rest as I can, but not really very successfully. I don't think Parker is feeling herself lately either because she won't eat or sleep like she usually does and her "normal" setting lately consists of lots of whining and back-arching. Anyway...

Things here are ticking along as usual. The snow returned this weekend, but no snow days! I think we used up our allotment and if we don't want to have to go long at the end of the year, we have to suck it up when it gets a little snowy or icey. Mark never gets snow days here, so for him it's not the normal excitement it used to be back in the days of YDB, when he got more snow days than the girls did.

Speaking of Mark, he's NOT sick...YET! I'm surprised it's me who got sick and not him...he is a maniac of busy these days. He's got a lot on his plate lately: school (himself), teaching + 2 overload classes, being in the EQ presidency, being chief chauffeur to MarynAvery's swimming, girl scouts, and choir. Head dish and bottle washer, shower-er, and math tutor (he's much more patient than I am!) He's been a real trooper, bless his heart!!

I meant to thank you for your support and advice concerning Maryn's tough situation at school. We've been doing lots of discussing and considering in our house over the last few weeks. And as is the case with many tough situations, things normally get worse before they get better. Sooo...without going to far into it, things have elevated to a very uncomfortable level where we actually had to call the Principal this past week. We didn't want to have to go this far, but when it's coming on the heels of last week's drama, it was kind of the "straw that broke the camel's back" situation. Needless to say, the Principal was responsive and didn't take long to address the situation. Unfortunately now the other child and parent got their feelings hurt and have felt the need to share with other parents and children that they got "told on" and I don't think it will take long to figure out who told on them. Ah well...what do you do?!? Seriously! We felt like we were doing the right thing...I can't sit here quietly any longer. I really don't care who I offend at this point...especially where we have been the ones being offended for so long...they just didn't know it! ANYWAY--besides all of that, Maryn is enjoying swim lessons and choir this semester. I'm glad she has other venues to express herself, feel accomplishment, and have fun. She deserves it!

Avery is also enjoying swimming lessons. I'm so proud of her. She has always been pretty water shy and I didn't want to pressure her in the water, but the older she gets the more important it becomes that she know how to swim. She was pretty embarrassed when after the first lesson she was demoted to a class with kids who were literally 3-5 yrs. old. But now she is doing great and eager to show off her skills when we are watching. I knew it wouldn't take long...once she puts her mind to it she can do anything...that's where that lovely stubborn streak she has actually comes in handy!! Gotta love Ave!! She is doing great in school, and has lots of friends there...it's such an opposite experience to what Maryn is going through. She's actually really blossomed here...I think she is one of the leaders in her little group of girls. Chalk it up to that strong will again I guess. She is also doing great in Primary. Her teacher is always thanking her for being such a good example to the other girls and being so helpful. I saw her talking to Ave in the hall on Sunday and she actually started tearing up as she thanked her for helping with one of the other "problem" children, and I could tell it was making Avery a little uncomfortable. She just stood there with a smile on her face, nodding and smiling. I finally stepped in and rescued her. I asked her what that was all about and she waved her hands in the air and said, "I have no idea!!" That girl cracks me up. She is really into helping out in the kitchen nowadays, and getting better and better at helping out with Parker. She really loves this baby, and is so excited to give her some love when she comes through the door from school. It's great to see.

Parker is doing fine. Like I said, she is a little fussier than normal but nothing to be too alarmed about. She is in love with rice cereal. She would rather EAT than DRINK bottles lately. Is that normal? I think I need to start on veggies and fruit probably. I think she's ready. She is also in love with a fuzzy blanket that Aunt Shalee gave her. All we have to do is put it over her head and face (I know, dangerous, right?!?) and she immediately is out like a light. Mark calls the blankey "Anna", short for anesthesia. It's kinda true. (Don't worry, we take it off after she falls asleep.) She is rolling and scooting all over the floor...mostly angrily though. Her motivation in moving is that she doesn't like the fact that she's on the floor by herself. She'd much rather be up looking around...either in her Bumbo, or her bouncer thing, but most preferably in one of our arms. She's got the Day crane neck that she is whipping around in all directions so she doesn't miss a thing!! She's such a little observer!! She actually will throw her head back and look at things upside down if necessary...she. must. see. everything!! She smiles a lot, but rarely laughs. She's a tough egg to crack. And we are trying!! You should see the lot of us trying to impress and humor this little baby...it's a sight to behold!! We are all in love!

As for me, I am sick. But I think I already mentioned that. Parker's asleep finally, I should probably try to get some too. "Sleep when the baby sleeps", isn't that how the saying goes?

Over and out.

Welcome to Mark

A few weeks ago on a sunny Sabbath afternoon, we decided to load up the ducklings for a leisurely drive through the country. We headed west...cause it seemed like that's where all the sunshine was. We just kept driving and driving...Parker slept peacefully, and the girls kept their eyes peeled for bald eagle sightings, squealing when they thought they saw their gigantic nests in the tops of the scraggly branches of tall trees. They hardly complained at all, which is saying something nowadays.

When they were younger this was one of Mark and my favorite things to do...take a drive someplace new...go exploring...enjoy being out of the house...have some quiet time, to talk, or just meditate. Call us crazy but that's what "drives" do for us. We get our best talk time during drives, and many of our best decisions and discoveries about life have happened in the front seats of our vehicles...Mark behind the wheel, me in the passenger seat. Are we alone in this?!?

Anyway, lately it takes some serious bribery...a promised movie on the portable DVD player, or treats to take along in the backseat...to get these girls to agree to a drive. On this particular day we did both, but as I mentioned before they didn't even ask for the movie once we got going. I think they learned to just enjoy the scenery and be quiet with their thoughts.

On our latest drive we went through a tiny town called "Granville". We stumbled upon a house that had the Scooby Doo "Mystery Machine" parked outside of it. NO jokes, it was one of those old school vans painted EXACTLY like the real thing. It both humored and fascinated the girls...I think seeing it parked outside a normal looking house on a normal looking street completely piqued their curiosity and kept them engaged in conversation and imagination for the rest of the afternoon...that was until we hit the next tiny town outside of Granville...

As we drove along I saw the town boundary/city limit sign coming up...a green sign with fluourescent white lettering...it read "Mark, population ?" I couldn't believe it. How funny is that?!? To be driving through a town with your name on it. I don't think I'll ever find a "Suzy" or "Suzanne" Illinois, folks!! We all started laughing and teasing Mark about being mayor of his own town. I don't think we've all laughed this hard in awhile...it was one of those laughs where you're not sure if you are laughing or crying, you can't seem to catch your breath, you might have an accident (if you know what I mean), your stomach and cheeks ache from all the hysterics. It was hilarious. But I bet you had to be there to believe me. Oh well. Just know we had a great time!!









And you might be interested to know that in the town of Mark, there was an Elizabeth street, an Ava street, a Park street, a St. Paul street, and an AmeDay street...it just kept getting funnier and funnier.

Little Sweetheart and First Num Num's

Look at all that hair!! Avery didn't have this much hair until she turned 2, I'm not kidding.



She is starting to scoot around a little...it's more like a pivot system. She pulls her legs up and throws them over and pivots herself around the floor. What does that mean?



She is so loud!! Yesterday Mark called on his way home from work asking if there was anything I needed...you know what I told him? A HUGE diet coke and a head rub!! Her talking is loud, her squealig is loud, she is either just generally pretty peaceful or expressing herself at the top of her lungs. I'm discovering there isn't much of an in between with her.





Another milestone folks--Parker's first rice cereal feeding.

Help us all!!

Heart to Heart

Do all schools participate in "Jump Rope for Heart"??? I'm not sure. The girls have done it now every year since they've been in school...both back in Michigan and now here in Illinois. This year it will take place on Wednesday, February 17. Anyway, I think it's a great cause. We have a lot of people in both of our families who have been affected by heart disease, as well as some of our friend's children. This program gets the kids involved in learning about heart disease...they learn about how the heart works, and how to take care of it through exercise and proper nutrition. They learn that they can help people who have heart disease through their fundraising efforts.

So if you're interested in making a donation for either of the girls this year, please leave a comment to do so and we'll get ya signed up...if not this year, consider doing so in the future.

Thanks for your support!!

Maryn and Avery

The Mama Bear In Me

Forget road rage...what about "Mama Bear" rage? This past week I have been so irritated at how mean and catty little girls can be. I don't know what it is about girls specifically...when they feel bad, they either want to make everyone feel bad around them, or they want the world to just go away and they lock themselves up, refusing to talk, asserting a passive aggressiveness. The other thing I've noticed is that some girls feel a need to assert dominance in groups, make yourself feel better by making others feel bad, make sure that whoever is different knows it, that everyone else knows it, and that they are sufficiently humiliated by your incessant need to point it out.

I see it in my own girls certainly...sometimes they say the meanest things to each other...things they know will just cut the other one down. Things that are aimed directly at the heart, ya know what I mean? It's hard to be a part of it...it's never fun watching your babies hurt each other...especially when it's with words...when it's words, how do you explain that it hurts just as much if not worse than getting hurt physically? That it bruises your spirit, that it makes you think differently about yourself, and the person who insulted/offended you...it makes you distrust...in your own sense of confidence, and in the other person who you love and is supposed to support you and enourage you. It can really do a lot of damage internally.

I remember taking Maryn to a playground when she was little....like just barely learning to toddle around. She was so social. She'd walk up to the first other little person and smile her wide mouth grin at them and instantly strike up a game...squealing and chasing each other around. But then she would get knocked down, maybe it was on purpose, maybe it was innocent, who knows, but that feeling that rises up in you when you see somebody harm your baby is unmistakable. It's strong...starts in your gut, rises up into your throat...are you going to cry or are you going to react? Your head gets hot, your teeth clench, your fists ball up and start to sweat a little. The first reaction is to make it stop!!

At first when Maryn was little I would try to let things slide...in favor of being polite and teaching her to handle things gracefully. I was always taught to take the high road and not to stoop to the perpetrators level. Getting into fights is exactly what they want a lot of the time. And other people hurt you when they are scared, lonely, or cowardly. Killing them with with kindness was the better choice.

Until recently...it's not that I want to teach something contrary to what I mentioned above. I think that ultimately we need to teach our children to do what Jesus would do...turn the other cheek, forgive, develop empathy and charity and all that stuff. But then there's just survival skills and that's what I'm talking about here.

Since we moved to this tiny town, Maryn has been in an awkward situation. She is one of only 5 girls in her class. There is not a plethora of choices for friends for her at school. And these girls have been friends since kindergarten (and probably before), and as with any small town, they are not really open to change or newcomers. Add to that the fact that one of the other girls in her class has the same name as her, same spelling and all!! She thought they'd be best friends, but the other Maryn had different ideas. She ultimately feels like this "new" Maryn has invaded her territory and challenged her sense of identity. She has always kind of been the ring leader of this little pack of girls and told them off the bat NOT to be friends with the "new" Maryn and that's been our struggle ever since. Our Maryn has fought, struggled, tried, and tried again to just get along and be friends with these girls and they just aren't having it...at. all.

It is absolutely breaking my heart. I feel so deeply for Maryn. I know what it feels like to feel like an outsider, like you're different, like nobody likes you, that you'll never be included or accepted. I think partly because I was raised in an environment where I was the only "Mormon" and couldn't do lots of stuff, I had lots of brothers and sisters, we didn't have a lot of extra money, therefore I didn't have a lot of designer labels. I didn't like stuff that a lot of the girls at school liked (I guess I was kind of nerdy), I was non-athletic, I was non-musical, I would rather read books, draw, or play dolls when they were all learning gymnastics, going water skiing, or the buying the latest Atari video game. So I know what she is feeling right now.

Maryn and I have our talk time on our drives home from Acheivment Days lately. I ask her if there's anything that she'd like to talk about and most of the time she launches into some kind of guilt trip on Mark and I about how we don't do enough fun stuff at home, how she doesn't like when Avery does this or that, etc. Typical 9 year old angst...and I can deal with that. It's when she tells me about the mean stuff the girls at school said that day, or how nobody will play with her at recess that the Mama Bear comes out in me and I feel helpless, sad, and trapped for her. I wish there was something I could do other than just tell her it will all be okay. Part of me wants to march onto that dang playground in the middle of recess and lay some serious smack-down on those catty little girls, and part of me wants to call up their Mom's and go off on how their daughters are being complete and total selfish brats!! But then again, they are being the same way towards me...maybe that's why this stings so much...I don't have any friends here either.

This past week Maryn told me how one of the girls has decided that they each need to be labeled...(bear with me on this one guys, this is the mind of a 3rd grader). They have to fit into only 1 of 3 classifications...they are either a girly-girl, a tomboy, or a "math-freak" which I think means nerd. Maryn declared to the group that she was 50% girly-girl and 50% tomboy...(she told me later that she really thinks she's more "math-freak" but she didn't want to admit that to the girls for fear of ridicule of course). And that's when ring-leader says, "you are not any percent tomboy, you are 100% girly-girl." Which hurts Maryn's feelings because all the other girls are "tomboys". So in retaliation she says, "I don't care, I'm 100% Maryn B. !! (which is her name now because of the two Maryn issue). Which I thought was pretty gutsy for a little 57 pound girl when there are 4 other meany bullies staring her down at the lunch table. When she told me this story, I listened patiently and then I just couldn't help it. I told her she needs to tell those girls to "shut their yaps"!! Maryn later told this to Mark, who asked me what I thought was going to happen when I was the one getting an angry phone call from somebody's Mom asking me why my daughter thinks it's okay to talk like that. I think I'm willing to deal with the consequences quite frankly!!

So what would you do? What have you done if/when this has happened to your kids?

We obviously can't pick up and move any time soon. But at the same time, for the first time in my entire life as a parent, I am seriously considering home schooling. You know it's bad when I start thinking like that...UGH!!

I've talked to her teacher about the situation and how it makes her feel (she told me "she'd keep her eye out"--pashaw!! One of the other girls is her grandaughter for crying out loud, that's how small a town we're livin' in here people), we've invited each of these girls over for playdates (and individually they are as sweet as can be), to which their parents have NEVER reciprocated (which is fine by me because I'm not sure I would want Maryn going to any of their houses anyway), I've signed her up for Girl Scouts (to try and foster better friendships/relationships with these girls)...what next?!?