Checklist

Well we finally found a crib and carseat last week. After my doctor's appointment on Thursday we decided to take a gander in K-Mart to see what kind of baby selections they had. Surprisingly, we hit the jackpot there and found the crib and carseat (and the carseat/travel system was even on sale!!) What a relief!! Mark set it up that night, and after washing some of the bedding, I finally put the crib together over the next several days. It's cute, huh? We found the bedding at Target. I was wanting something purple (although it looks more pink in the picture) and I think this turned out to be cute. We also found a lilac colored valance and a purple/green quilt for the full-sized bed, so it's slowly coming together. I'll post a picture of the finished room when it's really finished.

Items we still have on our checklist:

--Dresser (we're planning a trip to IKEA this weekend...don't worry I'll be riding in a motorized scooter or wheelchair)

--Some shelves and frames for decorating the walls (also IKEA...hopefully. I have some other crafty ideas, but I'm thinking they'll probably have to wait until after she gets here.)

--The perfect diaper bag (any tips or ideas...it's been awhile. I'm just looking for something plain and simple...no Disney characters or frills.)

--Diaper disposal system (I used the Diaper genie with the girls but recall the plastic inserts not only being a bit spendy, but also really, really bad for the environment. As if disposable diapers aren't bad enough. Is there anything that will mask the smell that doesn't require the inserts.)

--Baby Monitor (not sure if I really need this nowadays. I also used one with the girls but that was back in the day we had 2 floors to our house.)

--Mobile for the crib (also not a top priority but I remember having one before and it was kinda fun.)

--Bumbo play tray (I got the Bumbo from in-laws, but Shalee convinced me that having the play tray is key.)

We're pretty much set on clothes...but you know me, you can never really have too many cute dresses and outfits. I actually noticed I don't have any 0-3 month dresses (besides the blessing dress that Aunt Shirlene made). But I have no idea how big this little chicken is going to be or what seasons she'll need for 3-6 and 6-9 and so on. It's kind of a mystery/guessing game.

So things are coming together. I feel a lot more relaxed about things than I did at the beginning of the month. Now we're really ready for whenever she decides to make her appearance, which hopefully won't be for another month or two anyway.

Oh yeah, did I mention I have to shop for nursing bra's too? I had forgotten that dreadful little detail until just recently as well. I shudder at the thought. Nursing bra's from what I remember are definitely NOT on the cute list.

Then and Now

Whoa, what a difference a year can make! I just went back to read my posts from July of 2008 and am a little melancholy about how much has changed. If you go back and read my post from July 28th, 2008, I announced that I would begin my training for a half-marathon. I can't believe that was a year ago! And I can't believe how much has changed since then. (Oh you know just that I now have a basketball growing under my shirt and I sometimes can't see my own feet.) Needless to say I have changed physically. But for good reason. And I actually find that I'm okay with it. I do miss running from time to time. More now that I've been on bedrest probably. Even when I can't run, just going for leisurely walks is a treat. But even that I've been able to sacrifice for a nobler cause. And it's okay. A year ago, I don't know if I could say that.

Come to think of it a year ago, I don't know if I ever would have thought that I would be where I am today. At all. In any way.

Our lives were so different. We were living in a big suburb of Detroit...Livonia, in a rented house that although comfortable never felt quite like home--like it was ours, we were commuting a half hour each way downtown to work at jobs that neither of us enjoyed. We were dropping the girls off at daycare in the building I worked at, or leaving them asleep in their beds with Beth our babysitter at home before they awoke in the morning a couple days a week. We spent the majority of our summer inside...either in an air-conditioned building, or an old Detroit church doubling as a school, or in the car in-between those places and home. We struggled to find quality time together as a family. We only ate 1 meal together most days and oftentimes it was hurried and frantic, and not always a pleasant experience. We felt like our lives were constantly in fast-forward and that the girls were growing up way too fast right before our eyes and that time was slipping through our fingers and that there wasn't anything we could do about it.

It wasn't all bad though. I loved living in my home state. I loved the familiarity of the neighborhoods and the area. I knew where to shop, where to eat (and how...oh the choices we had back then!!), and where to play when we could. I had my family close by!! We saw Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins often...celebrated birthdays and holidays, happy events, and just hanging out together! I also had all my BFF's from my youth...GNO's every month and sometimes more. We also made great friends in our Ward and loved getting together with them too. The girls went to a great school and had great teachers and we were really pleased with the education and progress they were making in their lives. (Not that we're not now, I'm just saying that there were lots of good things too.)

And now, here we are!! In a matter of a year, we have changed our lives drastically. I am no longer working...not only full-time but at all. It is different, but it is wonderful. I had forgotten what it could be like. And Mark has a new job that he loves. He feels validated professionally, he feels appreciated not only by the people he works for, but with. His students are more respectful and grateful for his time and effort. He has a new perspective on what education can and should be. We are both happier people in terms of the work that we do now.

Gone is the sprawling suburb and downtown commuting, we now live in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. This is the only part that can be both a blessing and a curse for me. It is so foreign to me, but just because it's different doesn't make it bad. I am learning to love the things about it and appreciate a slower paced lifestyle. It is a slow process, but not impossible. Eating fresh cucumbers, zucchini, peppers, and (hopefully) tomatoes (soon!!) from our garden is a treat. Being able to send the girls out to play for hours on end and knowing that they are entertaining themselves with bugs, frogs, dirt, and kitty-kitty from across the street and are completley safe is awesome. And when the fireflies come out at dusk and light up the sky in our yard, it truly is breathtaking and magical. Watching the girls run barefoot in the grass trying to catch them with cups and jars is a treat I never imagined having. And we now own a home that we can call ours. It's not perfect, but it's ours and it feels fulfilling. (A bit daunting as well though, especially when things don't work the way they're supposed to.)

And time just isn't passing us by as quickly anymore. We've both been able to be a huge part of our children's day. I don't have to tell you how fulfilling it is to be there when they wake up and when they fall asleep and sometimes all day in between. It's how it should be and I'm grateful to be able to experience that again. We talk more, we share more, we laugh more, we fight more (ahem), and feel more like a family now than ever. And now...now I get to do it all over again by adding a new member to our family...we couldn't be more excited!!

I think I already mentioned when I posted that I was expecting back in the Spring, that I/we always wanted another baby in the back of my head. But our lives had changed so much and it seemed to be getting pushed further and further back out of the realm of possibility that I didn't know if it would ever happen. Now that it's happening and I can look back at how things have evolved it makes this experience all the sweeter and more meaningful. I think because of how much we both had to overcome to get here again. It's like I had to work for it and this is my reward. I feel wiser and more grateful now than I did when I was younger and more naive. I know that I need to cherish every moment now because I know how fast it really goes and that in a blink of an eye it can all be lost. It is a blessing to be able to do this again in so many ways.

So when I go back and read that last summer I was training for a half-marathon and was probably in the best shape of my life and this summer I am confined to my bed day after day, my belly and body growing in extraordinary ways, it is okay. It is more than okay. It means that I am living. I am growing (literally) and life isn't passing me by as I sit in my cubicle day after day. I am enjoying my life...and all that goes along with it. I am not wondering what kind of life "could" be out there if I wasn't working, or what it would be like to spend a lazy afternoon with nothing to do with the girls, or how it feels to be there to say hi to Mark when he comes home from work because I'm doing it. And it feels wonderful. I couldn't be happier.

What a difference a year can make indeed!!

Baby on the Brain

I know, I know. I'm a little OCD about the topic right now. It's hard not to be. I am having a hard time focusing on anything else at this point. It seems like I think about it all the time. And not only that, but I'm also reading about it and watching shows and movies about it as well. (I guess when you're confined to bedrest, and due date is looming, it's understandable.)

So here are my embarrassing confessions about what I'm filling my time and my brain with lately.

1. MTV's "16 and Pregnant"

Have you guys watched this? Probably not. You're all probably much too busy and smart to waste your time with such viewing material. I never watch MTV or any of the "show's" they have, but there was something about the title that intrigued me (the pregnant part, not so much the underage minor part). I started watching it and have been hooked. I know it's not the most positive and pleasant topic to think about, but seeing these girls go through the struggles they are is somehow comforting to me. It sounds twisted I know. I do not condone premarital sex, or pregnancy out of wedlock, but just seeing other women go through the rigors of pregnancy is fascinating to me. Some of the stories are more endearing than others. Have you seen the one with Catelynn from Algnonac, MI? She was the only one from the season to give her baby up for adoption. I cried from start to finish. They are having a wrap-up/reunion episode soon, and I can't wait.

2. TLC's Baby Story and Birth Day

Enough said, right? I've seen so many of these episodes that they are now re-runs for me. The girls hate it when I watch these. They go running from the room in horror and fear of the screaming Mom's in labor. I don't make them watch it, but as for myself, I can't get enough. I admit that I have a hard time watching some of the episodes however. Mostly the at-home water births with no pain meds...but to each their own. I do not judge...much. Hee hee.

3. Multiple Bles8ings, by Kate Gosselin

This one's a little controversial. I have a really hard time with Kate. Always have. I just don't agree with how she is handling her life/children/marriage/quest for fame at all costs. For someone who claims to be a devout Christian, she kinda has a funny way of showing it. ANYWAY, despite all of that I am reading her first book. Mark brought it home from the library the other day and I gave it a gander this morning. I have to admit that I kind of sympathize with her more now after reading the first few chapters than I ever have before. Kate didn't start out a mean, money-grubbing Mommy. She started out young and kind of naive, with lots of dreams and hopes for having a family someday. She struggled...a lot...in the beginning. She endured more heartache (and bedrest) than I'll ever be asked to and I give her kudos for doing everything in her power to bring 8 healthy children into this world. Unfortunately it wasn't until much later that things began to spiral out of control for her and for her family, but that's a different topic for a different day. I'm just interested in her actual pregnancies right now anyway.

4. The Mother In Me: Real World Reflections on Growing Into Motherhood

This book is a collection of essays and poems about Motherhood. All facets of it. Pregnancy, adoption, infertility, miscarriage, empty-nesters, small children, big children, etc. It is written mostly by women who write for Segullah, a literary magazine for LDS women that I really enjoy. One of the authors is CJane, who you all know has been a favorite read of mine for awhile. Anyway, I got the book for Christmas last year, but only read a few of the essays since then. I finished this book up recently as well, and loved it!! I relate so much more to the majority of writing and author's experiences than I did at the time I started reading it and it has been so much more fulfilling. Pretty much every story has made me cry and appreciate what I am going through so much more. It has helped me to remember to savor and be grateful for every moment of Motherhood--from start to finish. A definite favorite.

So there you have it...a glimpse into what a pregnant lady on bedrest does with all of her spare time. I didn't mention the hours I spend perusing Target.com or WalMart.com these days as well. Or the hours spent on Facebook or catching up on blogs. That would be a whole other post for another day.

Thank goodness I can get up a little more these days. I wonder what I'd be discovering next.

Baby Steps

Well it appears that all this bed rest is actually doing my body some good. My cervical length is back up to about a 3.2 (from the 2.4). I didn't realize that it could actually lengthen or thicken back out, but I guess it can. My doctor was happy to see that and told me that as a result I am good to start getting up a little more often, and doing a few more things around the house. He doesn't want me to go buck-wild or anything, but just use my best judgment and stay conservative. I'll take it!!

I asked specifically about two things--going to Church, (he advised maybe just 1 hour of that), and about a trip to Target and he said yep to that too!! Yippee!! I couldn't be more pleased and relieved. I was able to ask all of my questions and got answers that were informative and reassuring. I feel a million times better about everything now. It's not to say that things are miraculousy cured or that this baby still couldn't come early, but the chances are slimming and that feels good. I feel blessed and hopeful.

It ended up being a great day. Not only did we get some good news, but we also got to have lunch at TGI Friday's, took that dr. condoned trip to Target (where I was able to get all of my miscellaneous items--changing table stuff, bath stuff, onesies, binky's, bottles, etc), and by the time we were done it was time for dinner. You know what that meant? Yep, a well-deserved trip to QDoba!! I'm a new woman!!

The only bummer news we received yesterday was that Baby girl is following in her big sister Avery's shoes already in utero. She has pretty much settled into a breech position and yesterday they discovered that one of her little legs is dancing on my bladder (which explains a lot--ahem). This may or may not mean that the other leg is stuck up by her head like it was with Avery. My doc assured me that she could still turn or that the other leg could still descend, but it's not for sure. Especially considering my mishapen uterus and the fact that she is getting bigger and bigger and more wedged in there everyday. I've pretty much resigned myself to having another c-section at this point. It's all the other stuff that I'm still hoping and praying to avoid...remember the space-age harness Avery had to wear?

Anyway, the news is good for now. There is progress. All this lounging around hasn't been in vain. Thanks for all of your support and prayers. They're working!!

Doctors: Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Without Them!

Well I had another appointment with my Peru OB today. She was late (again), and literally spent 10 minutes with me. We chatted for a few minutes (turns out she grew up in Westland!! Small world!! She graduated in '94 from John Glen...Casey, Becky, you might know her!! I don't know what her maiden name is, but her first name is Denise, but whatevs, I digress. Did I mention that means she's younger than me? Wow.) Anyway, after our preliminary, customary chit-chat, she had me get on the table, checked my belly measurement and listened to Baby girl's heartbeat (a little high today, but I had just eaten lunch), and that was it. No vaginal exam, no sonogram, no ffn swabs, nothing. I asked her about it and she said that since I was getting a full workover in Peoria on Friday that she didn't think it was necessary. So MY question (you know, just the lowly patient who is confined to bedrest for the third consecutive week) is, Why even have me come today for this stinkin' appointment? Why charge me yet another pricey co-pay to have me on the table for like 2 seconds and not provide any substantial answers or useful information???

Nothing is worse than not feeling like your doctor is doing their job. Like you aren't their top priority, and that they don't value your time or feelings. I am starting to feel like just another whiney pregnant lady and that should not be the case, especially considering I am in pre-term labor for crying out loud. I felt like she just wanted to get me off the table and out of her office as soon as possible today. It could be my pregnancy hormones talking, but I just want some consideration. I am paying them a lot of money after all and I deserve to feel like it isn't for nothing.

Mark of course wants to call them in a huff or go and glare at them at my next appt, but I don't want that either. That never helps anything. But at the same time, what will? I just feel like the Peru doctors are really laid-back and just kind of sitting back and letting Peoria make the decisions. But Peoria can't be my doctor...their job isn't to deliver babies, their job is to treat high-risk Mommie's and get them as close to full-term as possible. I wish they could deliver me in some ways, but I know that if they did that would mean that Baby girl came too early and things wouldn't be the way that they should be. (If my water breaks and I'm stable I would travel to Peoria to deliver, but if my water breaks and I am in labor, I will have to deliver in Peru and Baby girl would be flown to Peoria's NICU. I would be separated from her until I was stable enough to transport. This is all if I go into labor before 35 weeks.)

Anyway, I'm frustrated. Can you tell? I'm starting week 3 of bedrest and my only hope as of today is getting to Peoria in a couple days and finding out that things have stabilized and I can start moving around a little more, maybe in my house at least. I've already resigned myself to not being able to pick out my crib and carseat in the store (online is just as good), and that I won't have all the little details arranged when she comes, but being able to maybe make dinner once in awhile or sit at the computer would be nice. I guess we'll just wait and see.

A Milestone Indeed

My sister Erin turned 30 yesterday. It's quite a milestone for our family. Her turning 30 means that my parents are getting old!! (HA HA!!) Really, now all of the kids are either in their 40's or 30's, and they have grandchildren in their 20's. Strange and surreal.

Erin doesn't seem old enough to be 30 this year in many ways. Probably because she'll always be our little sister, but in other ways she is wise and experienced beyond her years. She has always been such a bright and loving spirit. She has always been a crack-up. She has such a quick wit and sense of humor that I really appreciate. She is a great mommy to her adorable little boys and has a patience with them that I envy. Especially in the past several months, this patience has been put to the test in a big way, and she has accepted it and made it into an adventure for herself and the boys. She is extremely talented, creative, and clever. The ideas she comes up with are really something else. Her house is always neat as a pin and cute as can be, and I will miss visiting them at their little West Chicago place. Her homes always smell wonderful and you always leave with a treat in your belly and a smile on your face. (Quickly becoming a Griswold trademark.)

Sorry this post is a day late! Hope your birthday was a great one!! Wish I could've been there to celebrate with you. I would've taken you out to La Pita and then for treats and possibly even a little HomeGoods afterwards. Miss you and love you!!

Speaking of Preferences...

Mark was sick last night. It happens occassionally. Actually it happens a lot. Anyone who knows Mark well knows that he has a somewhat fragile (hee hee) stomach. His family will back me up on this one. Pretty much every family vacation or major event growing up in their family consisted of Mark tossing his cookies on somebody or all over something. Instead of disgusting, I think it's kind of endearing. (Did I really just say that?)

Anyway, I feel bad for him. Something didn't agree with his stomach last night (he claims it was the salmon, but the rest of us are fine), and he was up till the wee hours going back and forth between the couch and the commode. Poor guy. I really do feel bad for him. But I also get grossed out really easily. And I'm a germaphobe. And I'm on bed rest. So there wasn't a whole lot I could do for him.

So what does all of this mean? Well, I was feeling badly that I wasn't able to do more for him last night (you know like hold his hair back while he was hunched over, wipe the sweat from his fevered brow, spray the bathroom down in Lysol, etc, etc). He's been doing a heck of a lot for me and I started to think and it reminded me that I needed to respond to the blog-meme he posted the other day about our spouse's preferences. The list he compiled for me was not only accurate, but humorous as well. The only thing I would revise is my preference for dangly earrings. I actually like them more and more these days. I now have several pairs. (Buy them at Kohl's on clearance...great deals!)

So here's my list of what Mark prefers:
Mark prefers throwing up and getting it over with to writhing about in cramped misery (okay, that's the last thing I'll say about him throwing up last night!)
Mark prefers cream based soups to brothy ones
Mark prefers regular Pepsi to diet
Mark prefers talking about movies and books than sports
Mark prefers mowing the lawn to painting
Mark prefers short-sleeved button-down shirts to polo's for work
Mark prefers drawing pictures and passing notes with the girls to listening in Sacrament meeting (okay only some of the time...wink, wink)
Mark prefers shopping for clothes for himself with me than alone
Mark prefers hot dogs over Brats.
Mark prefers soup as an appetizer to salad.
Mark prefers staying up late to waking up early (although he has been teaching 8 o'clock classes for 2 semesters straight now.)
Mark prefers walking to running.
Mark prefers weather that is not humid
Mark prefers the Gem State
Mark prefers that his students call him Mark or Mr. Brown, but not Professor (that is until he gets his PhD, and then I'm thinking all bets are off.)
Mark prefers Blogger to Facebook
Mark prefers cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Saturday mornings.
Mark prefers drinking milk to water.
Mark prefers having daughters than sons (although at this point he has no choice.)
Mark prefers our current President than the last one...ahem.
Mark prefers not to wear flip-flops.
And I prefer him to anyone else.

The end.

(Almost) Born on the Fourth of July

That would be my sweet Mother-in-law, Laurie Brown. She was born just 3 days shy of of our nation's birthday and this is something that I think she has absorbed into her character and personality ever since. She is a strong and capable woman (much like our country), she is fiercely loyal to her family, extremely loving to all around her, and is willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to ensure that the people she loves are happy and well taken care of.

Laurie has taught me so much since I've known her. She has always been a source of strength for me personally, as well as our family. Her perspective has taught me so much over the years. Particularly to keep the big picture in mind and remember not to sweat the small stuff. "Will it matter in the eternities?" is a question she offered to help keep things in the right frame of mind. I appreciate her optimism and encouragement when things in my life have been tough, as well as the example that she has emulated in her own life.

I have seen her go through trials in her own life and seen that she truly practices what she preaches. And she does this because she believes in it. She has a strong testimony of our Heavenly Father's plan. She is willing to let Him control things and relies on her Savior to get her through. Throughout this entire past year since her original diagnosis she has accepted whatever was dealt to her with faith, hope, and grace. She has been diligent in her acceptance of whatever new news (good or bad) the doctors have given her. She has been strong despite her pain, she has been patient with unanswered questions, as well as the unknown. And despite everything she continues to serve those around her. She is probably more concerned about everyone else than she is about herself. I really admire her for her perserverance, her humor, and her example.

I hope this birthday is a great one for you Laurie...you deserve a fabulous day! I was so excited when Mark told me that you had so many visitors over to help you celebrate. I know that you are the happiest when you are surrounded by the people you love. We are there with you in spirit.

Happy Birthday!!

Lots of love,

Suzy and the rest of us

Patience (and other things) are a Virtue

So I've had lots of time to think and meditate lately. It's been an interesting experience. I've realized that in a lot of ways this was meant to be. After the initial shock and fear passed, I find that I am feeling much more calm about things. I realize that just like any other trial I have been given in my life this too is meant to teach me something and help me to grow and understand new principles as well as be reminded of old ones that I still haven't quite grasped. And I've already been able to decipher many lessons already.

The first and probably the biggest is humility. I have been extremely humbled this past week. (Okay, it's technically only day 5). I cannot possibly control everything, nor should I even try to. The Lord is in charge. He has a plan. It is necessary for me to surrender control in order for His plan to be accomplished which includes offering others opportunities to serve and gain blessings they need. I am lucky to have a loving family who is willing to serve me and love me despite my weaknesses.

The second is patience and temperance. Everything can and will get done in due time. The baby gear will get bought, the room will come together, the baby will come when she's supposed to. The Lord has a timetable and I just need to let Him allow things to happen when they need to and not be in such a rush all the time. It's time to slow things down and just be still (har har) and listen more.

In the meantime I need to focus on what matters most...myself and Baby girl, my sweet and selfless husband, and my capable and loving daughters. I have been reminded this week that my greatest treasures on this earth and for eternity surround me every day. I would be lost and hopeless without them. They are my source of true joy and inspiration. They are what makes all of this difficulty worth enduring. I am so grateful for their sweet offerings of support and love each day...each in their own way. They make my heart swell.

A welcome peace and calm has come over our house in the past days. Despite the fact that this is confusing for the girls and for Mark and I, we are trying to help each other out (and cut each other some slack). We are communicating better, we are expressing affection more, we are trying to give a soft answer instead of what our normal patterns are. We are seeking the Spirit in our home and in our hearts. Prayers have become more regular and earnest again, and blessings are recognizable and abundant.

I am so grateful that despite my own personal patterns of pride that I am never abandoned entirely. The Lord is always near...waiting for me to call upon His strength and enlightenment. Even though the lesson isn't complete, I am grateful for answers as they come. And even though I don't keep the proper perspective 100% of the time, I am grateful that perfection isn't expected of me anyway...just my best, what I can give, what I can do is good enough.

So in light of that, I am trying. And I will keep on trying. I know that it is for a worthy cause and that after the trial comes the blessings of faith, and in this case a sweet little Baby girl will come to our family. That will be the greatest gift of all.

Happy 4th!

(click to enlarge)

This is a scrapbook page from 2002--Maryn was about 18 months old. That cute little outfit was sent to her by my Aunt Vicki. We were living in our cute little house in Boise, and had just finished putting up that picket fence in the front yard with Dennis and Laurie's help. Mark was much younger (ahem) and in the midst of his MFA at BSU. I was expecting Avery (about 7 months along). It's kind of ironic since I'm that far along this 4th of July with Baby Girl #3 this time 7 years later.

Hope you all have a fun and safe Fourth of July!!

Sofa City, Here I Come

The news is still a little fresh, but I thought this was the best way to let all of my family and friends know what's going on with the pregnancy. I had a doctor's appt with my maternal fetal specialists this morning. I took the girls, they were excited to see the baby on the ultrasound for the first time. Baby Girl has not been enjoying these ultrasounds (I've been having them every 2 weeks since about 20 weeks gestation). Every time they try and get a shot of her face, she either turns away or puts her little arms and hands over her face. The doctor even did a close-up on her mouth because he thought that maybe she was sucking her fingers, but no...she was covering her face. Funny girl already. Anyway, the ultrasound went normally and she is growing and things are fine. She is up to around 3 lbs, and the length couldn't be measured because she is all curled up now.

After the normal belly sonogram, they did the cervical length measurement, which not to get too graphic with y'all, but this one involves "the probe". The girls were not thrilled about having to be present for this portion of the appt. They were shielding their eyes and Maryn was even covering her ears (she later told me she thought I was going to scream like they do on "Baby Story". I guess I have some more explaining to do...) Anyway, they took the measurement and what is considered "normal" at this point in my pregnancy would be a "4". That is how long the cervix is before it thins and you start to dilate. I've been at a 4 this whole time. I was at a 4 on June 16 (my last appt.). Today it was a 2.4. Yep. Not good. He was quite surprised, as was I.

He asked me what I'd been doing over the past couple weeks, and I guess looking back I've been doing more than I should. Physically I've been doing more--we went garage saling on Saturday, we went hiking on Monday, I've been rearranging things in the house to get the baby's room ready. But I've also been stressed emotionally--I think I mentioned in my last post that there have been a few hormonal outbursts and more tears than I'd like to admit. But I didn't think that any of this was above and beyond the call of a normal pregnancy. Silly me.

The Dr. is a specialist for a reason. His job is to prevent premature labor. So in light of that, he officially diagnosed me with preterm labor and ordered me to bed rest. There are a few conditions. He says that if I'm super careful this week and come back in a week and things are the same, I can continue the rest of my pregnancy on "semi-bed-rest" which means I don't have to live my life reclined, but still have to limit my exertion and movement significantly. But if things aren't better and my cervical length is shorter, I will be on permanent bedrest and if things get any worse than that, may have to be hospitalized.

The goal now is to get me to 32 weeks gestation (but obviously beyond that as well). Anything before that is too risky for the baby...he informed me of how risky and it gives me chills. I certainly don't want that to happen. I guess I'm still a little stunned and not really digesting the reality of the situation. I'm not supposed to stand or sit for any long period of time. I'm supposed to be reclined to take pressure off of the cervix, and preferably be laying down on my left or right side like all of the time. I can get up to use the bathroom, eat, and shower but that's about it. I asked him about church. He said "not this week". So basically it's the couch or my bed for me for the next 7 days...at least. Hopefully after that I can go back to "semi-bed rest" where I can maybe sit at the computer rather than lay and try and type on the lap-top (this is hard!) We'll see.

The Dr. told the girls they'd have to start pitching in more at home. He asked them if they could cook anything and Avery informed him that he was her Dad's "sous-chef" when he makes cookies and brownies. Maryn told him she could make a sandwich and pour milk. He smiled and my life kind of flashed before my eyes a little bit. They are really going to have to grow up in the next couple months. It's probably a good thing, they'll need to be more independent when the baby comes, but I feel badly that they will have to take on so much responsibility. Oh man, here come the emotions!!

Anyway, not to make this a novel or anything (I don't really have anything else to do now anyway, hum dee dum), but I just thought I would let you know what's going on. I really think we'll be fine. Seriously. Looking on the bright side of things, the girls are old enough that I don't have to chase them around the house and they can wipe their own behinds. It's not like I need help with them. And Mark's summer schedule is becoming a blessing in disguise. He's teaching what's considered "full-time", but gets home every day around 2 and has Friday's off. Because of that I know we'll be okay. I know it will be hard for him to do more than he's already doing, but will find a way to make it work.

I got a blessing from him and my home teacher last Friday night and was reminded that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles and loves me and I only need to turn to Him in prayer and scripture study for comfort and peace. I can see the wisdom in those words more now than at the time. I know I will be okay. I know the baby will be okay. Regardless of how the next couple months play out, I know that He is there and wants the best for me and my family. Please keep us in your prayers. More than anything that I can sit still and have some patience for once in my life!! So much for nesting!!