A Last Written Labor of Love for my Mom

Linda Day Obituary

Linda R. Day

June 7, 1940 - August 2, 2015

Linda Rae Oglesby Day returned to live with her Heavenly Father on Sunday, August 2 at 2:50 p.m. She quietly slipped away while surrounded by all six of her children, her beloved sister, and her loving husband.Linda was born in Compton, California on June 7, 1940 to Max and Esther Oglesby.

Her family relocated to Portland, Oregon where she spent the majority of her happy childhood. Growing up, Linda loved her dads sense of humor and her mothers cooking. Her grandparents played an integral part during this time, often acting as a second set of parents for her. They fostered Lindas freedom, creativity, and most importantly her love for storytelling. When Linda was 10, she went from being the only child to having a sister, Vicki Janine. She couldnt have realized at the time how important this relationship would become in her life.

Although their family went through hard times financially, it was full of love and they spent a lot of time together. She had wonderful experiences that she later transformed into captivating and humorous stories such as sledding down Dolph street, getting into trouble with her friend Corky McCray, and helping herself to the neighbors apple orchards. For the rest of her life, she longed for

the green rolling hills of Oregon, snow-capped Mt. Hood, and cool serenity of the Pacific coast.

When she was 12, Linda was introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints by a friend. After discussions with the sister missionaries, she was baptized on her 13th birthday.

During this time, her mother and sister were also baptized. It took Papa a few more years to accept the Gospel in his life, which ultimately culminated in their family being sealed in the Portland Temple in 1997. Her membership and service within the Church became an organizing principle of her life. Her faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and its Restoration was as strong as it was no-nonsense. She simply believed and moved forward in life, acting accordingly. The stability

the church brought to their family was paramount, which gave her the lifetime goal of raising her own family with strong roots in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She wished for lots of kids to have what she believed to be the greatest blessing of lifean eternal family.

After graduating high school, she attended Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah. She spent one of her college years at BYU-Hawaii and enjoyed her experiences living among people of many races and nationalities. For her, it was much more than a sun-tanning experience. She graduated in 1963 with a degree in elementary education and library science. She got a teaching job in the SLC area right away, and it was during this time, she and her roommates had a cute little paper boy named Michael Day. They asked little Michael if he had any older, eligible brothers, to which he replied,

sure! Later, by coincidence, Linda was set up on a blind date with that older brother whose name was Paul Day. They went to a bowling party where Linda broke 200 and Paul barely scored half that.

It was here that they put two and two together about the cute little paper boy, and they had a good laugh. After a period of dating and engagement, they married in the Manti Temple on July 23, 1964. Linda taught grade school while Paul finished up his MBA at the University of Utah, and when he finished, the two of them moved to the Detroit area where Paul started his career with Ford Motor Company.

It was in Michigan that Paul and Linda began their family. Together they had six children, and while Paul worked hard to provide financially, Linda worked endlessly to teach, nurture, and serve her kids. With only two hands and one car, Linda managed to cook and clean for, clothe, and chauffer a small army of children. She supported them in everything from music lessons and play rehearsals to soccer matches and early morning seminary. Linda literally gave all of her life to her family, and they were her greatest joy. She couldnt have imagined that joy expanding as she welcomed 26 grandchildren into the family over the course of their 51 year marriage, but it did. Her family was her greatest source of happiness and light.

In the late 1980s, through the encouragement of a dear friend, Linda became a professional storyteller, spinning her tales to thousands of people over the years at libraries, bookstores, churches, and schools. Few people relished telling a good story more or did it better than Linda Day. Several of her grandchildren had the opportunity to have her tell to their classes at school and got to feel like celebrities because their grandma was the story lady. She fostered lasting friendships and bonds with

fellow members of the Detroit Story League, where she served as President for many years. They became her family, and they supported one another in their profession as well as in their personal lives.

Linda served in a variety of callings in almost every auxiliary in the church, but the responsibility that suited her best was being a teacher. Whether it was a group of senior citizen ladies who wanted to study the Book of Mormon, young women who needed a strong role model of service and sacrifice, or young children who learned best by hearing well-told stories, Linda was a master teacher. Many lives were touched by Lindas remarkable influence in the Livonia ward and Westland Stake.

Linda was keenly aware of the family legacy she and Paul built. She was immensely proud of her six children, their spouses, and 26 grandchildren. Each one of them benefited from her wise, practical insights and advice. The thing she wanted more than anything else was for each member of her family to live a faithful, obedient life so there could be a Day family reunion in Heaven and have there be no empty chairs.

Linda was as tender as she was feisty. She was known for always speaking plainly and telling the truth, but she was also full of compassion and forgiveness. Whether she was writing notes of thanks, praise, or encouragement to the people she loved, or spending hours on the phone talking through problems and giving advice, she served and loved her family, friends, and fellow children of God until literally the final moments of her life. She was a woman of singular strength and resiliency,

and after many health crises throughout her life, she was often granted tender mercies of more time to be with her family and friends. As a testament of her character even the last hours of her life displayed characteristics of faith, hope, and love.

Linda is survived by her husband, Paul, and her children, Shauna Pierson (Daren), Jeff Day (Amy), Ryan Day (Gretchen), Suzanne Brown (Mark), Melanie Norman (Jeff), and Erin Griswold (Ben); her sister Vicki Townsend; grandchildren Collin (Kristen), Andrew, Paige Gonzales (Tommy), and Maddi Pierson; Riley, Hannah, Alec, and Ian Day; LaRae, BriAnna, Sterling, Max, CaRina, Cameron, AvaLynn, and AubriElle Day; Maryn, Avery, and Parker Brown; Gage, Hallie, Maia, and Tate Norman; Braeden, Cole, and Adalyn Griswold. 

She was preceded in death by her parents, Max and Esther Oglesby.

The Day family will receive guests at the funeral home on Friday August 7, 4pm-8pm.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday August 8, 11am at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. 7575 N. Hix Rd. Westland, MI 48185.

In lieu of flowers, memorial tributes are suggested to LDS Philanthropies of your choice.

Kindly keep the Day family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

In Celebration of Her Life

 Families are Forever

Joy and Sorrow

I'd been looking forward to the end of summer because I knew it meant a trip to Denver for Paige's wedding. Just a few years ago, we had done the same for Collin's wedding and I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my family.  My sisters and I would share a hotel room, along with Jeff and Amy in their room, Aunt Vicki in hers, and my Mom and Dad in theirs.  We would have an endless party of hanging out, helping Shauna prepare for the events of the weekend, and celebrating with Paige and Tommy. That was the plan, but we all know things don't always go according to plan.

The end of July brought the shocking and sad news of Mario Facione's unexpected death. Mario was an important part of our family through our sweet sister-in-law Amy, as well as having a close friendship between our families growing up. Mario's loss was a tragic one. We all rallied together to offer our sympathy to Amy, Kathy, Jeff, Scott, and the rest of the family. It was difficult and got me thinking about family, mortality, loss, grief, and our Heavenly Father's plan. I wondered if my parents would stay home from the trip to attend the funeral, and was surprised to hear that they decided to move ahead with their plans of going.

While reflecting on Mario's passing, I remember thinking a lot about my own parents. Their health was so fragile, and I couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that their time was limited on this earth. Especially of concern to me was whether they were up for the trip to Denver. I knew my Mom was having issues with her own health.  Earlier in the year, she had spent a couple months in the hospital and then a rehabilitation center. She was having ongoing issues with congestive heart failure, but was now having problems with respiration and not getting enough oxygen. Traveling to Denver would just complicate all of that. I expressed my feelings to her that maybe she shouldn't go.  Dad would be fine on his own, and Ben and the boys could check on her while we were away. But she was determined to go.  It was important to her that Shauna and Paige knew she was there for them. It was important for us to be together. She also said she didn't want to be alone at home in case something happened.  The whole week leading up to the trip I was stressed. I was worried about how they would get around. My mom would need a walker and possibly a wheel chair. I was worried about them being stuck in the hotel while the rest of us went and did fun stuff. I just didn't feel good about it...at all. In addition to my stress and hesitation, I was still so sad about the loss of our dear friend Mario. I knew that being together would help all of us process his loss and be of support to each other. The news of his passing was still fresh when we boarded the plane for Denver.

I now look back at the time spent with my Mom and Dad driving to the airport, being on the plane and landing, our first afternoon/evening in Denver as so special.  It was so nice to spend time with them. Erin got to sit next to my Mom and I tried my best to participate in the conversation, but was unable to really hear or add anything from across the aisle. I remember thinking that my Mom looked good. She was in happy spirits and seemed to enjoy the time together. I was glad to sit next to my Dad. We were able to have a good catch up session too, but I understood when he needed to take a nap. We were greeted by Shauna when we arrived, and she took us back to their place to say hi to the family. It was so fun to see Paige, meet Tommy for the first time, and see Andrew and meet his fiancee Lauren. I love my family so much. After visiting for awhile, we headed back to the hotel to meet up with Melanie and Vicki who had arrived earlier.  We decided to grab some dinner and found a California Pizza Kitchen close by (my Mom's favorite).  We had a nice dinner.  I remember that Mom's and Vicki's wasn't as good as they had hoped, but the rest of us enjoyed our salads and pizza. We headed back to the hotel to drop Mom, Dad, and Vicki off.  Mom asked us to grab her some snacks for the hotel on our way to help Shauna prep for the family dinner the next day. We ran to Target and picked up cereal, rice milk, bananas, and cherries, but instead of taking it right back we went ahead to Shauna's.  She needed help with prepping food, so we helped with that and chatted with the rest of her family. We headed back around 9, one of us dropping off the snacks with Mom and Dad, but I remember distinctly that I didn't have a chance to say good night before turning in. The plan for the next day was to get mani/pedis, go shoe shopping, and help set up for the party.

The next morning, we saw Dad in the lobby for breakfast, but he said Mom wasn't feeling well and wanted him to bring her food up.  After eating, Erin and I decided to go for a walk while Melanie began getting ready. We checked in on Mom to tell her our plan, and she was just starting to get ready. When we got back, Erin and I began getting ready and apparently that's what my Mom was doing when when she had her heart attack. She was getting out of the bath, and in the process of getting dressed when she fell. Dad was there and when he realized something was wrong, he contacted the front desk. They responded and called 911.  It was about this time that Aunt Vicki and Melanie stopped by the room by chance and discovered what was happening. Melanie came to get Erin and I and by that time the paramedics were doing everything they could to get a pulse. We began to pray right then and there that Mom would be okay and that if worse came to worse that she would be able to make it through the weekend, and especially that today wasn't the day for her to leave us. We contacted Shauna and Daren, and they rushed to the hotel. The paramedics planned to transport her to the hospital while continuing rescue measures. Meanwhile, Shauna and Daren took my Dad, Aunt Vicki went in the ambulance, and the sisters and I followed in our rental car. They were able to get a pulse in the ambulance. Her pacemaker had been fighting them in the hotel, but once inside the ambulance it was able to create a consistent rhythm again. In the ER, they were able to intubate and stabilize her. We had no idea this was the case until arriving at the ER and receiving word from the Doctor that she was stable. The whole car ride over I had this feeling that she was gone. I could feel the spirit whispering words of assurance, but mostly felt shock.

When we arrived and received word she was stable, I felt so much gratitude, but was so conflicted. I had this feeling on the car ride over that she wasn't going to make it (if she hadn't already), but now had found at that she might still have a chance!  I didn't know what to believe! They transported her to the ICU, and the Drs. there began to discuss what happened with us. It was so good we had Aunt Vicki (who is an RN) with us because she was able to use and understand medical terminology and communicate everything about Mom's health history and make her own assessments of what was occurring. She was invaluable to us during the whole crisis as she was able to translate and explain what was happening step-by-step. The hospital's treatment protocol after a heart attack was a cooling process where they initiate a hypothermic body temp. so that the heart has time to heal and the rest of the body and organs are able to cool off and rest after the traumatic event for 24 hours. After this, they slowly bring the body temp back up to normal to assess any damage that has occurred after the cardiac event. This also gives the brain time to catch up and show signs of injury. While in this process, Mom was actually breathing sporadically against the ventilator, which gave a false sense of hope. They were also measuring her brain activity, and noted seizure-like behaviors. There was no way of knowing anything until after the 24 hour protocol. So we waited.

By this time, it was getting close to the time when Shauna would be setting up for the family party. I'm so grateful for the army of people she had supporting her because they rallied around her and made it happen despite the awful circumstances we were in. Dad and Vicki decided to stay with Mom, but the sisters and I decided to go and support Shauna at the party.  It was good to get some air and give ourselves some time to process what was happening. The party went well and I think that everyone had a good time. We didn't stay for long, just long enough to eat and watch some of the games. We headed back to the hospital to re-assess Mom's condition.


No changes had occurred and we would still need to wait. The hospital staff asked if she had made any health directives in the event that she didn't recover from her injuries, and Ryan emailed it right away. As we read it, we discovered that her wish was not to be sustained if there were no signs of recovery. She also wanted all of her children to be able to say goodbye if they could. It seemed premature to be making these decisions, but we also knew that time was precious. We contacted Jeff and Ryan. It was the day before Mario's funeral services when the heart attack occurred, and by Saturday afternoon they were just finishing with the services when we told them that we thought that Jeff needed to come to Denver. He literally walked out of Mario's funeral to hop on a plane to Denver. It was awful. Ryan and Gretchen decided they would leave their kids and drive with their baby that same day. Mom hadn't had a chance to meet the baby yet, and they felt like that needed to happen. They arrived Friday night, followed by Jeff in the wee hours of the morning Saturday night.

Saturday morning was the wedding. We decided we would all go, but Aunt Vicki would stay with Mom in the hospital. It was a joyful, sorrowful moment that will forever remain etched in my memory. Some of us felt Mom's presence in the temple, but have no idea where her spirit was at.  Was she still in her body or was she someplace in between? We felt the peace and assurance from the spirit that was balm to our souls. We were able to celebrate the beginning of an eternal family with Paige and Tommy, while being reminded of the promises that we had to each other--siblings, parents, family. It was the perfect place to ponder on the miracle of life and our Heavenly Father's plan. I was so grateful for the experience because it gave me the necessary spiritual strength to move forward, but I was dreading the inevitability that awaited us at the hospital.  We were going to have to say goodbye to our Mom.
 

 

Mom's condition didn't improve as the hours and days moved on. She was receiving wonderful care from angelic nurses, but it was only to make sure she was comfortable. There weren't any signs that she was going to recover from this. The time without oxygen directly after her heart attack caused a brain injury that was non-recoverable. We were still waiting for the cooling protocol to complete, but it was just borrowed time. We leaned on and supported each other with coming to terms with the circumstances as they unfolded. Those hours in her hospital room were sacred moments I will cherish forever. I know that my Mom knew we were there, and her spirit delighted in our company. We shared sweet memories of our lives together, we told the nurses about her feisty personality, and we encouraged her to stay with us for as long as she could. We told her how much we loved her and thanked her for bringing us into this world and for giving us a wonderful family and childhood, and for continuing to mother us throughout the years. These things were hard to say and the emotions we felt were raw, but it was such a blessing to have the time to do it. We were so grateful to be able to be together. I know that this is what she would have wanted. It was surreal to be there helping her through her last moments of mortality. We had the distinct impression that she was going to miss us just as much as we were going to miss her. 

Mom's angelic nurse, Valerie. She was absolutely incredible in her care of Mom, as well as helping all of us understand and answer any questions we had. She prayed with us, and she supported and helped us get through. Even though I felt a bit awkward about taking a selfie with her, I also didn't want to forget her.

Saturday evening came, and drained from emotional fatigue, we decided to make the drive to attend the reception. It was a beautiful night. The venue was spectacular. Paige and Tommy looked gorgeous and the food was delicious. Mom would have been so proud. We enjoyed the space and time celebrating with them, but our thoughts weren't far from our Mom in the hospital. I don't know how Shauna and Daren's family pulled it off because we were all exhausted. After the party, we returned for a little while but because we were so tired, we eventually decided that we needed to get some rest for Sunday. We just all knew that this would be the day for our final goodbye.

Sunday morning, we were all together (Jeff had arrived in the middle of the night). We received confirmation from all of her doctors that the prognosis was non-recovery. Her brain showed no signs of activity following the cooling protocol. At this point, the next protocol was to just make her as comfortable as possible. We gave our permission to remove the life sustaining devices so that her body could transition naturally. We all assumed it would be instantaneous, and gathered closely around her bed, holding onto one another and her. We sang to her, we cried, we spoke to her, and we cried some more. Minutes turned into an hour and she was still with us. We were all amazed. I felt like, at this point, her spirit was in complete control of her body. She just wanted to soak up the experience for as long as she could. We each individually received a powerful connection with her as the next few hours passed. I felt like I was able to see her spirit to spirit and communicate without any words. It was so sacred it's hard to even describe, but the experience has given me a glimpse into what heaven will be like. We felt the presence of our family members who have passed on and wondered who would be there to greet her. We all agreed that it was Papa. During this time, we discussed the spirit world and where she would be going. We also talked about how close it was and the ways we would still be close to her. It was comforting to be able to rely on these simple truths. Hours turned into three, and we were all starting to get anxious and restless. A few of us stepped outside to get some drinks and snacks. They had ice cream in the freezers for ICU patient's families and so a few of us had gotten some of that. When we returned, Melanie was the first to notice that her breathing had really slowed down. We kind of laughed that as soon as we all relaxed and were enjoying ice cream, my Mom decided to slip away. She passed at 3:20 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. It was August 2nd, 2015. She was surrounded by her husband of 51 years, her beloved sister, her six children, son-in-law, 3 of her 26 grandchildren, and a granddaughter in law. I think it all happened the way that she would have wanted.

The picture in her room. The caption says, "the rough ground shall become level and the rugged places smooth" which I thought was a nice metaphor for how our spirits separate from our bodies.

The view from her window to the courtyard below. I just remember sitting and looking out at this during the days we spent there wondering how the world could continue moving on in spite of what we were going through. There was this calm serenity to the landscape that helped to soothe my troubled mind. My thoughts were that life still moves on, and this is all part of the plan.

Another view from her window. I wanted to remember that it rained the day she died. I felt like it was somehow appropriate because she grew up in Portland, where it rains all the time, she loved the thunderstorms in Michigan, and the world was mourning her loss right along with us.

It is almost three months later now, and I still feel the same way. Even though I miss her terribly, and there are days that I can't believe she is really gone, I also feel like she was able to have a tremendous send-off and I am so glad that she doesn't have to suffer any more. In terms of having to lose a loved one, we all were able to experience the best case scenario. We had the gift of time. We had time to make our peace with it, and to be able to say the things we wanted and needed to say to her before she left. One is never really ready to say goodbye permanently, so having the eternal perspective and knowledge that our lives and families don't end with this life is invaluable. Without that knowledge, I think it would be horribly difficult. I know that my Mom is in a much better place than what we know here in mortality. She is in the presence of her Father in Heaven, her brother Jesus Christ, and other dear family members. She is busy with important work such as teaching the gospel (which she was great at), and helping to bring families together through temple work. I believe that she is still very involved in and aware of my life. I'm grateful to know that our loved ones are never very far away, and we can feel of their presence and influence. Most of all, I know that I will see my Mom again. I know that when I die, I will be reunited with my loved ones and return to my heavenly home. I'm glad that I have her to "come home to."