“Alright readers, I hereby challenge you to a blog-off. I want to see the best
story you have, may it be a hit to your pride or at the cost of another’s. You
know, the story that you tell at parties that gets everyone rolling on the
floor, the story that makes you laugh when you think about it, or, if you are
one of those unfortunate people, the legendary story that may be told at your
expense. Let’s see it, the good, the bad, the ugly and the down right
hilarous....”
I am up for the challenge, as embarrassing as it may be. Please read at your own risk. And consider yourselves challenged in turn. I better not be the only one who ponies up an embarrassing moment or two. Let’s hear some stories!!
It was fall of 1988. I was just beginning my freshman year of high school at Stevenson. I was 14 and just entered the realm of stake dances and youth conferences. I loved going to both, and was so excited at my new prospects for meeting Mormon guys from other wards (because my Ward’s pickins were pretty slim) and meeting up with my girls camp peeps to giggle and act aloof. The theme for the dance was black and white. I don’t know what kind of theme that is supposed to be looking back, but the decorations were, of course, black and white and people were supposed to dress in black and white. So I made my best effort to go with the flow. I remember scouring my closet for a white shirt and couldn’t find anything that was just plain white. So instead, I grabbed a cream colored mock turtleneck shirt and pulled it over my giant, ratted bangs and called it good.
My brother Ryan and I usually drove to these Stake dances together, and then we would immediately abandon each other at the door to hang with our own homies. I spotted my crowd and we probably ran off to the bathroom together to spray our ratted hair with more aqua net or apply some more electric blue eyeliner to our already eerily blue shadowed eyes. We eventually made our way to the dance floor and started rocking out to some sweet 80’s tunes…maybe “Ebony & Ivory” by Stevie Wonder to go with the dance theme. At that point, I realized that part of the decorations for the black and white themed dance were black lights positioned at each of the four corners of the dance floor. It was actually pretty cool looking. Everybody’s white clothing and teeth glowed and it was quite a psychedelic experience.
The first slow song came on, and we all filed into two rows on either side of the dance floor, trying to act cool and like we didn’t care if we got asked to dance. Eventually I got asked and got asked and got asked. I was on a streak. But it wasn’t the norm for me. I started getting a bit suspicious. At one point I noticed that the guys in our little dancing circle were kind of fixated on a certain part of my anatomy while dancing. What the!?! It’s not like I have ANYTHING to stare at. Even at age 14, I was barely in an A-cup. Regardless, I knew that that’s what they were looking at. So I looked down to see what all the fuss was about. And that’s when I noticed. My little white A-cup training bra was glowing right through my cream-colored mock turtleneck!! The horror!! And the realization that I had been dancing my little heart out completely unaware of my immodesty caused me to run for the hills. I couldn’t go back into the gym to get my brother to drive me home because I was sure that everyone had seen my little white bra, and I just couldn’t stand another minute of humiliation. I sent in one of my friends to get him and being the older brother he was at that point of my life, he acted like I was invisible. I called my Mom from the pay phone and I don’t think they were home either. I remember I finally found somebody to give me a ride home, no thanks to my insensitive older brother.
I didn’t let that experience keep me away from Stake dances, but I sure felt a little awkward at church the next day. There wasn’t a whole lot left up to the imagination with me after that for a lot of people, if you know what I mean. Ugh!!
6 comments:
I don't think I've ever heard that story. That's hilarious. And awful. Awfully hilarious.
So the message of this story is what? To attract boys, just show your underclothing? Let's not pass that along to Avery and Maryn.
Btw, "peeps?" "Homies?" Who are you and what have you done with my formerly caucasian wife?
Awwww, the horrors of the black lights. Isn't it strange how the most scarring memories often involve being humiliated in front of the opposite sex?? Glad to know I'm not the only one!! :) Great story!
ohhhhh, the horror! Ryan should be ashamed of himself! ;) I love the line where you said you "pulled a cream colored turtleneck over your ratted bangs and called it good"!!! Hilarious! :)
One could say you stood out in the dark ... one could say that, but I won't ! Will post my own "moment" on my blogsite.
That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh at your expense. :o)
As a mother of a 13-year-old, that is the most terrible, horrible, earth-shattering, emabarrassing, head-hiding, world-catostrophic thing that could EVER happen to an innocent little dancer at a stake dance!!
I'm so sorry. :)
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