Patience (and other things) are a Virtue

So I've had lots of time to think and meditate lately. It's been an interesting experience. I've realized that in a lot of ways this was meant to be. After the initial shock and fear passed, I find that I am feeling much more calm about things. I realize that just like any other trial I have been given in my life this too is meant to teach me something and help me to grow and understand new principles as well as be reminded of old ones that I still haven't quite grasped. And I've already been able to decipher many lessons already.

The first and probably the biggest is humility. I have been extremely humbled this past week. (Okay, it's technically only day 5). I cannot possibly control everything, nor should I even try to. The Lord is in charge. He has a plan. It is necessary for me to surrender control in order for His plan to be accomplished which includes offering others opportunities to serve and gain blessings they need. I am lucky to have a loving family who is willing to serve me and love me despite my weaknesses.

The second is patience and temperance. Everything can and will get done in due time. The baby gear will get bought, the room will come together, the baby will come when she's supposed to. The Lord has a timetable and I just need to let Him allow things to happen when they need to and not be in such a rush all the time. It's time to slow things down and just be still (har har) and listen more.

In the meantime I need to focus on what matters most...myself and Baby girl, my sweet and selfless husband, and my capable and loving daughters. I have been reminded this week that my greatest treasures on this earth and for eternity surround me every day. I would be lost and hopeless without them. They are my source of true joy and inspiration. They are what makes all of this difficulty worth enduring. I am so grateful for their sweet offerings of support and love each day...each in their own way. They make my heart swell.

A welcome peace and calm has come over our house in the past days. Despite the fact that this is confusing for the girls and for Mark and I, we are trying to help each other out (and cut each other some slack). We are communicating better, we are expressing affection more, we are trying to give a soft answer instead of what our normal patterns are. We are seeking the Spirit in our home and in our hearts. Prayers have become more regular and earnest again, and blessings are recognizable and abundant.

I am so grateful that despite my own personal patterns of pride that I am never abandoned entirely. The Lord is always near...waiting for me to call upon His strength and enlightenment. Even though the lesson isn't complete, I am grateful for answers as they come. And even though I don't keep the proper perspective 100% of the time, I am grateful that perfection isn't expected of me anyway...just my best, what I can give, what I can do is good enough.

So in light of that, I am trying. And I will keep on trying. I know that it is for a worthy cause and that after the trial comes the blessings of faith, and in this case a sweet little Baby girl will come to our family. That will be the greatest gift of all.