Giving Thanks

Parker's class had a fun feast for families at the Chipp-u-wuh preschool in anticipation of Turkey Day.

Parker getting some help adjusting her "paper bag".  She didn't seem to love how it crinkled when she sat.  That's my girl!

Parker is far right, holding her Tom-Tom

They also went and sang to some folks in a retirement village as a class.  That was a really neat experience for Parker and for us.  She was so friendly with the people there.  While most of the other kids were hanging onto their parent's legs, Parker was out in the middle of the room dancing and talking to the people.  There was one lady in particular that she chatted up beforehand, and by the end of the program they were up singing and dancing together!  We both saw a sweet side to Parker's personality, and both of us felt impressed that this is a gift that she has to share with others.  She seemed to really touch the people she came in contact with that day. It did my heart good.  She may not be able to sit still and pay attention in class, but she really shines in other ways.

A dog statue at the retirement village looked a little too real for my liking.

Parker is right in the middle of the group.

For Turkey Day, we traveled over the river and through the woods to Jeff and Amy's house in Commerce.  It was so fun to be with family and friends for the holiday!

Can you spy Chef Jeff over there carving turkey per request?  He had a smoked bird, and a brined bird. Both were delicious!  I loved it!!

Parker was seated at the kid's table.

This was the adult's table...Mario got a head start on everyone!

The teenager table!  This made me giggle...none of them wanted to look up for the pic.

The PIES!!

After dinner, we went back to Mom and Dad's house for the night.  The next day, Mark and I dropped the girls off with the Griswold's so that we could take an early anniversary trip to Grand Rapids.  We haven't left the girls overnight in over 12 years, so we haven't left Parker ever.  It was long over due, and something we were glad we took the time to plan.  I will post more on that later.

Overall, we have much to be grateful this year.  We love our new house, we are making lots of friends in our new ward, Mark is done with the PhD and loving his job, the girls are healthy and growing, and I am enjoying staying home with them free of distractions.  It's definitely been a good year.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving too!

Something to be grateful for...

This!!

I thought this was hilarious!  Anyone who knows me, knows I love the "Keep Calm" paraphernalia out there, so this was perfect.

Mark and I were able to take a trip downtown to the campus of Wayne State University, and there in the Maccabees building on Woodward Avenue years of work culminated with a few hours worth of presentation, discussion, and celebration.  It was surreal.

He totally rocked his dissertation defense!  He didn't even know he was supposed to have a presentation until the grad director told him the agenda when we arrived.  He just pulled about a 30 minute presentation out of nowhere, and blew everybody away!!  I was seriously impressed.  He did great, and he even put on his missionary hat in the process.  I can guarantee that the professors and directors and colleagues in attendance came away knowing more about Mormons than they would have any other way at any other time in their lives.  It was awesome.

The guy in the fleece jacket is the infamous Dr. Steven Shaviro (his committee chair), that was seriously a blessing sent from heaven.  I honestly mean that.  Without him, this would have never happened.  If it weren't for him helping Mark to pick up the pieces of his shattered prospectus, and organize a new, BETTER committee with decent human beings this day would have never arrived.  As Mark gave his presentation, I would look over at Dr. Shaviro and see him nodding, smiling, agreeing to the references Mark would make, not because he had to, but because he wanted to!  He genuinely looked impressed and interested.  That did my heart good.  To see that not only did I think Mark was doing great, but this guy (who is a lot more qualified than me) did too!!

 After Mark was done with his presentation, and answered all the questions from the committee they asked us to leave the room for a few minutes while they deliberated.  When they called us back in, Dr. Shaviro congratulated Mark on being the newest PhD in Film Studies.  This picture is of them signing the paperwork to make it all official.  I wanted to take a proper picture of them all standing together smiling, but it just didn't seem appropriate.  Oh well, at least I have something to document it actually happened!!  Whoo-hoo!  So happy, so proud, so grateful.  

Now he gets to wear this on December 6 when he walks in the graduation ceremonies.  Can't wait!!

Busy-Shmizzy (Drafts from the Vault)

{1/26/12:  Boy, was I bugged.  I don't even remember what I was going through at the time.  What I do know is that this was during my "Tonica" days.  Looking back, I realize that I was depressed.  I knew it then, but was powerless to admit and treat myself.  I just spent a lot of time feeling sad, lonely, and frustrated.  I am so happy I am not in that place anymore, and that since we have moved back to Michigan, I feel like I am healing and finding myself again.  Thank goodness for change!!}

"If "busy" were currency, you'd be a millionaire."

I am struggling with some feelings today y'all. I'm feeling a little lonely, a little forgotten, and a little frustrated. I'm frustrated with not feeling important to the people around me. I'm struggling with feeling like I'm not a priority in somebody else's life. I'm hurt at how I can try and try and give and give with no reciprocation. I'm at the point where I don't know whether to walk away and not cause myself the stress and the emotional turmoil, or whether to be angry and lash out, or to somehow learn a lesson from all of this and get over it.

My struggle today is with people who are too busy to care. People who are too busy to stop and look around them, to take a minute to listen, and breathe. People who are too busy to serve, and to be my friend.

I remember in my younger mothering days when we lived in Twin Falls, all the women around me were "busy". They had Schedules (with a capital S!) Schedules that included a lot of "important stuff" that seemingly took priority over everything else. To me it just seemed like a lot of driving around...if that's what being "busy" means, no thanks! That was always my confusion...why is everybody always busy? Should I be "busy-er"? I remember talking to a friend of mine about it...I asked her "sometimes I wonder if I should be busy like everyone else, is there something I'm missing here?" And she said, "heaven's no! enjoy your time with your littles while it lasts, because once they get older you will be BUSY!"

I guess I've had phases of my life since then that seemed busy(er) than the good 'ole days. But on the whole I wouldn't say I'm really that over-scheduled. But maybe that's just me...maybe that's just how I roll. I just don't see how being busy can prevent you from functioning like a normal human being. How can being busy prevent you from treating people decently, or come across as so entirely self-absorbed and rude? I love how my sister put it, "If it's important to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse." It's so true.

In any event, my frustration is with people who have learned to use the idea of being busy as an excuse. And for whatever reason, they get away with it. I excuse them because "they are so busy". Surely they don't have time to do this or that. My question is do they not have time or do they not have interest? Is their busy-ness a big cover-up? Are they really just too busy for me, or simply not interested in my needs and so as to not be insulting (oh the irony!) they say, "oh I've just been so busy!!" Mark put it this way the other night, when for the millionth time I cried and lamented my frustration with this whole concept...he said, "the person with the least amount of interest has the greatest power." Maybe that's why I feel so hurt right now, because it's a sad realization when you discover that the people around you really aren't all that busy, they just don't have any interest in you or your needs.

I already know what the answer is. They are not worth the time and the tears I spend on them. It is their problem, and not mine. All of that is true, but when I feel like they are all I've got, what then? All I can do is try and not do the same. All I can do is try and rise above it and learn from it. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad in the process.

You Mean Blogs Aren't Just for Happy Stuff? (Drafts from the Vault)

{The date on this one is February 2011.  I had forgotten about this entirely.  What a yucky moment in history.  It seemed so much scarier at the time.  I am so grateful that things weren't worse.  Once again, this needs to be published in the book of "me" as being an authentic moment in history.}

If you're anything like me and you blog stalk unknowing victims in cyber-space, than you may have caught onto a bloggy-epidemic in this great big world wide webisphere...I call it "happy blog syndrome". Have you seen it? Symptoms include: happy pictures of happy kids and families participating in happy events. I know I have a tendency to be skeptical, even cynical. But when I come across a "happy" blog, I have to wonder...what does your blog look like on a bad day? I know you have them too. What is it about us women that sometimes makes it so difficult to "get real"? Aren't blogs meant to serve as online journals to some degree? Aren't they supposed to capture different snapshots of our lives? Why is it so uncomfortable to show the not so pretty pictures?

So as I wrote my blog post yesterday, I was sincere in my hatred of grocery shopping ;-) but as I wrote it I knew it was a "safe" subject. A topic that many of us women-folk can relate to. Although my post talked about what I was feeling yesterday, it didn't really address my deeper issues. The thoughts and struggles I am having on a daily basis. Maybe I'm getting too personal. Maybe blogs aren't really meant to put all of our baggage and "stuff" out there, but sometimes I wonder if we took that leap what would happen. Would we find strength and support from our family, friends, possibly strangers who read our blog? Would there be a sympathetic ear who knows exactly what we're feeling and struggling with ready to offer the perfect advice or encouragement? I wonder.

So as to not keep you wondering what the heck I'm talking about, I'm going to take a small leap. When I wrote my grocery shopping blog post yesterday, what I was really thinking about was what a scary week I had last week. I was thinking about how I couldn't believe that last Monday I came home from a doctor's appointment convinced that I had breast cancer, and that by Thursday afternoon I was relieved to find out that it wasn't. Crazy, huh? And none of you would have known that if I wasn't willing to get a little "real". I wish I had the confidence to write about what I was going through at the time, it might have helped a lot to hear your support and encouragement. But instead I dealt with things "behind the scenes", feeling very isolated and scared to be honest with you. You just never know what's going on with somebody unless you ask, unless you take a leap and talk about it, etc.

What happened was that I found a small lump on my right breast about a month ago. I figured it was nothing, and went about my business. After a conversation with my Mom and an answer to prayer, I decided to just go ahead and have it checked out. Either way knowing would put my worry to rest. I made an appt. and figured my Doctor wouldn't be able to feel what I was feeling. But he did. He said it felt like a couple of small cysts, with some swelling in my armpit as well; but I should have it checked out just in case. I was scheduled for a mammogram and sonogram early the next day. They found the cyst on the mammo, but not on the sonogram. Both tests came back negative. Ultimately these types of cysts go away with time; but are definitely there, palpable, and not very pleasant to live with. Anyway, in the time between the doctor's appt and my hospital appts the next day I was a mess. And even after the tests I was a mess. Every scenario played out in my head. I can only imagine what it must feel like for women who are dealing with bigger lumps, more complicated issues such as family history, etc. It definitely gave me a wake up call.

Anyway, needless to say it's not a happy topic for a happy blog post. It's not something easy to just bring up, but I'm going to try. I'm just tired of feeling like if I don't have anything happy or fun to talk about I don't have anything to share on my blog. Life is not just the happy times, we all know that. But let's talk about it instead of trying to be heroes. I know it would help me out a lot.

Things They Don't Tell You About (Drafts from the Vault)

{This unpublished draft makes me laugh and cry.  It's so interesting how reading this takes me right back to this period of time.  I remember it so clearly now, but haven't thought about it in ages.  That is probably a testament to why women decide to have babies again...they forget the nitty-gritty details after a certain amount of time, thank heavens!!  Anyway, I know why I probably didn't publish this one...it seems too whiney and ungrateful.  It seems like I'm complaining instead of counting my blessings.  I probably didn't want to expose myself too much.  Whatever the reason, I think there is something to be said for authenticity and honesty.  This is it, in all it's raw glory.  I think it's important that I remember it, and that it becomes part of the book of "me".  So proceed with caution, it gets pretty self-involved and self-pitying.  Crazy to think how quickly this time really goes in the grand scheme of things!  The date on this is August 2009...just weeks before delivering Parker Faye Brown!!}

I am feeling huge lately. Huge, swollen, puffy, uncomfortable...needless to say not at my best. They don't tell you about this when you are considering having a baby. They don't mention that the last couple months are absolutely excruciating--that your body will grow to proportions that you didn't imagine possible in such a short span of time. They forget to inform you that your face can grow extra chins, that your belly can indeed keep stretching, that your feet can indeed get puffier, that your wedding ring will start collecting dust on the shelf due to the fact that you can't fit it over your chubby knuckles. They just don't tell you that.

The pictures in the book, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" are misleading. The cover of the book shows the drawing of a young expectant Mommy with a tiny, round belly barely poking out past her fashionable maternity jeans. Her face still looks normal, her arms still look thin, they don't show her "cankles". They make it look cute, fun, and respectable. I'd like to see them portray what that cute little Mommy looks like after 35 weeks. Or better yet, 41. Unfortunately for me, the cuteness of being pregnant has worn off. I don't feel cute and fashionable anymore, I just feel bloated.

My maternity wardrobe is dwindling. Some of my shirts just don't fit over my belly anymore. And some of what I once considered to be my lovely stretchy pants are digging into my lower abdomen so far, I feel like I'm getting a jump start on the c-section. So I've had to resort to borrowing clothes from Mark's side of the closet. AAGH! I've been here before and it's not fun. But his t-shirts are so much more comfy across my ample mid-section than anything in my drawers. Ho hum. Poor me.

I know it's not forever. I know that eventually my body will recover. But in the meantime, is there any relief? Does anyone have a device that can suck water out of my fingers and feet and face? Avery told me last night that sometimes when I walk, it looks like I'm waddling. I thanked her for her valuable insight.

I attribute some of this to the bedrest. The fact that I haven't been able to get up and move around has not helped keeping my pregnancy pounds in check. I had all of these goals and hopes of continuing to exercise and be active and gain a respectable amount of weight. But when you can't burn calories doing simple tasks around the house, they just accumulate in your behind. And when it's the middle of summer and the humidity is 90%, your feet can't help but start retaining water. I understand WHY this is all happening, but it doesn't make it any easier to look at.

Anyway, this probably sounds like a whiney rant and that I am losing sight of what's important here. Indeed, now that I think about it, it is. But cut me some slack. It's been a long 8 months. and especially the last month and a half sitting on my keister hasn't helped much.

I told Mark that we need to take one last picture. So that I can remember...so that Baby girl can see where she came from. But it's going to be hard. Then again, maybe it's just what I'll need after she's born. Maybe that picture will hang on the fridge and next to my workout clothes for the next year (or so???) while I work to get back to where I was.

Is that looking on the bright side at least?

Confessions (Drafts from the Vault)

{Oh boy, doesn't that title just draw you right in?!?  Haha!!  This one is hilarious because it's not even finished!!  Where was I going with this one...it just leaves me hanging!  Haha!!  The date on this is 12/5/08.  To put that into perspective, I had been laid off from Compuware that October, and we were probably getting ready to move to Tonica.}

When I was working, I would rationalize my caffeine consumption with the following excuses: it keeps me awake for long days and meetings and boring work, it curbs my sweet tooth after lunch and keeps my hands out of the candy jar, and it just makes me happy to have a little treat to look forward to. And all of those justifications are true. Although,

Halloween '14

We all went in different directions this year, but here is a mish-mash of our spooky fun!!

For FHE, we "Boo'd" 4 families with treat bags.  We made candy corn M&M cookies, and bags of "monster mash" (caramel popcorn, pretzels, candy corn, and gummy punkins).  3 out of 4 of the "Boo-ings" went smooth as can be, but 1 of them was pretty hilarious.  We got caught before we could even walk away from the door.  I guess "Boo-ing" a family with 7 kids isn't as easy 'cuz there are plenty of kids to answer the door as. soon. as. you. knock....and then proceed to run out onto the lawn looking for who knocked on their door...and saying, "I think I see the Brown's van...hey is that MarynAvery crouching in the bush over there!"  Haha!  Lots of fun!!

MarynAvery went to a Costume Contest Party for Beehives on Wednesday night.  Avery won the award for the "Scariest"...Haha!!  She was definitely rockin' some serious shoulder pads, and nailed the character perfectly.  Maryn dressed up as a "Steampunk"...if you ask her what that means she would say, "it's an eclectic mix of science fiction, Victorianism, and the industrial era".  Ummmmm...right.

It's kinda fun having them both as Beehives for a few months.  They overlap by 3 months.

We carved our punkins on Thursday night (Devil's Night for Detroiters), and got pretty creative with it!  Parker named her punkin "Spooky Jack" when she picked it out from the punkin patch.  But when she got home, she changed her mind and named it, "Spooky Vampire Kitty".  Unfortunately one of the vampire fangs broke off, which broke her heart.  Luckily, Dad fixed it up so that it still worked.  But geez!!  Drama!!

Avery went for a big jagged smile.

Maryn did a heart with filigree designs on the sides.  Yep, always thinking outside the box.

View from inside the punkin looking out...a little creepy.

Mark and my punkin ended up being Jack Skellington's face.  We have enjoyed watching that movie this year as a family.  Finally, Parker is old enough to not be scared by the funky animation and the rest of us love the soundtrack.

Parker Rapunzel ready for her preschool party the morning of Halloween.  She was supposed to be a cowgirl, but changed her mind at the last minute because "she wanted to be a beautiful princess for her friend, Lucas".  Aye yi yi, another story for another day.

 

Mark and I showed up towards the end of the party to get some pics of her with her buddies.  This is Macy, who has been with her since last year.  I love her individuality.  She rocked the firefighter costume because that's how she rolls!

Some of her other buddies, Fancy Nancy (far left) and Vanellope Von Schweetz (from Wreck it Ralph).  I just love this picture!  So sweet!

Halloween night, Avery went trick or treating with her posse from church/school.  Her friend Emma is the other old lady, Kassie is the jestor, and Beth is the nerd.

Maryn went trick or treating with a friend from the other Midland ward, and dressed up as Pinky Pie, another of the My Little Ponies.  I don't know why we didn't get any pictures of that costume, it was really cute.

Trick or treating in our new neighborhood was an eye opener.  There is a guy who lives a few houses down from us that goes all out, and gives out full size candy bars.  Because of this, he has drawn quite a crowd to our neighborhood.  That plus our location on the corner meant we had a LOT of trick or treaters.  Waaaay more than I expected.  For the past 6 years in Tonica and in our rental here, we haven't had any trick or treaters to speak of, so I guess I got out of the habit.  Anyhoo, I was out of candy by 7:30 and had to turn off my lights and put a sign up because I could still hear tons of traffic outside.  Next year, I will be more prepared.  :)

Mark and I were invited to a Halloween party for some couples in our old ward.  We decided we wanted to start a theme for our costumes...Parker's favorite couples from animated new releases.  This year: Wild Style and Emmett.  Haha!!

Hope you all enjoyed your spooky day this year too!!